Monday, August 31, 2009

Kind of Pathetic

I feel as though it is really sad (aka pathetic) that I wish there were more blogs that I followed...

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

End of Summer

I'm declaring this Wednesday night the start of the end of summer, aka, the start of fall. This is because 1, Andrew started school on Monday indicating the start of the fall school semester; 2, my last day of training is on Wednesday; and 3, we're going to see Kooza on Wed night, which will be a great way to end the summer :)

On another note - not pertaining to the end of summer - I'm beginning to believe that there will never be a time in my life when I'm totally emotionally fine talking about Jason's death. Yesterday at work, 2 of my coworkers and myself were taking our lunch break together and talking about our lives. One of the girls asked how my brother was doing, and my stomach immediately flip-flopped. I knew the question could come up, since I was talking about him, and I thought I'd be fine. But that nervous sad feeling took over my gut. Of course outwardly I seemed fine, but on the inside I was all tied up. I always thought this would change with time. It's almost been 8 years now and it's still no different. That's ok though, I'm just finally realizing it may never change. I miss Jason every day and sometimes still feel angry and confused over his death, but I am positive he's with God laughing, dancing, singing, and enjoying all the heights he wants, without being scared.

Thursday, August 13, 2009


Two things:

1 - I am so excited to have a new battery for my laptop...For the past 6 months or so I have always had to have my computer plugged in for it to work. At that point the battery just didn't work. Then about 2 weeks ago my battery exploded. My fantastical friend Zach brought it in for me and they replaced it totally free, no questions asked! I am using my computer right now with no chord attached...whoo!

2 - Today at work I experienced a client in a quiet room who was cutting, a lot...blood dripping on the floor, blood smeared on the walls... It was crazy. That's all I have to say.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Bedtime Stories

Lately I haven't been able to fall asleep very easily. Big surprise, I know. But it's been worse than usual. So here's just a couple stories about bedtime these days...

Last night I got in bed and immediately felt awake. Fun, fun. Of course Andrew was already fast asleep. I tried waking him up...I don't remember what excuse I used, but he just mumbled some nonsense and fell back asleep.
I spent the next half hour singing songs to him to pretend like I had someone to talk to! The songs were things like..."I love you, baby, And if it's quite alright,I need you, baby..." along with some songs I made up, with lyrics like..."You are asleep, and I am not, but I want to be, I wish you would wake up."

Tonight Andrew fell asleep on the couch, at about 9:30! Anyway, I woke him up and said, "you're sleeping." He then said, well what I thought he said was, "No, I'm choking on fireflies." I cracked up!!! Come to find out, he actually just said something lame about "No, I'm checking for fireflies." I guess it's a saying his mom would say when she would fall asleep but she wouldn't admit to it.

Tonight I google searched "can't sleep" and came across this image:

It made me so happy to find it because my mom used to read me this book! And it in fact, just to think about it, made me feel sleepy ...for about 10 seconds. And now I've moved on to blogging, obviously.

That's all the bedtime stories I have right now.

On another note, I love mountain biking!

And now I will probably go start a new book.